I like to consider myself in the upper echelon of just about everything. Most people call me by my last name, but I sign all my emails as God. Recently some girl told me that she could see herself calling me God later on that night. This is not a rare occurrence. I’ve convinced people that my shit does not actually stink, as well as that I was an up and coming NASCAR driver, a professional tap dancer, a regular on “Are You Afraid of the Dark” and a bestselling novelist. I can do whatever I put my mind to, including flying. I’m pretty much as good as it fucking gets.

A lot of people will tell you that an opinion can’t be wrong. They’ll cry, “It’s a personal belief, what my soul tells is right.” Bullshit. I’m here to tell you those people are fucking morons, and that most opinions are, in fact, wrong because most of the world is filled with idiots. What you readers will get from me is not only an opinion, but the correct opinion. If I say something is good, you can bet your ass it is. Check back soon for some holy posts.

– God

Published in: on February 19, 2008 at 12:26 pm  Leave a Comment  

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