The Get Excited Technique: C’MON! GET EXCITED!!

I have this friend Mitch. One night, before heading out for bar-hopping, Mitch asked me if I was excited to go out. I replied, “Yeah, sure, lets move”. This was not enough excitement for Mitch, so he executed the following procedure, which I have lovingly entitled the GET EXCITED Technique:

Step #1: Pinch the front pieces of the excitee’s hair (widow’s peak if existent) and rub them together with your fingers

Step #2: Exclaim “CMON!! CMON!! GET EXCIIIIIIIITED!!!” while keeping your teeth clinched together (this is key)

Step #3: Intermittently place hand’s palms outward and dangle your fingers

Step #4: Repeat “CMON!! GET EXCIIIIIITED GET EXIIIIITTTTTED” until the excitee has become sufficiently excited

At first, I didn’t know what the hell was going on. But then after a few repetitions of this GET EXCITED Technique, I found myself becoming very VERY excited.

Mitch later explained that he learned this approach from his buddy in Florida, who was incredibly quiet but would break out the GET EXCITED Technique occasionally, which made him worthy of hanging with the crew. I now have actively taken on the practice of getting people excited with this wonderful method. I’ve found in my travels that there are few ways to get people pumped up for mundane activities such as class, doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping, etc. but I can guarantee this technique will provide a sufficient level of excitement to make any dull activity fun.

The technique has been so ingrained in my colloquial greetings, that I find myself pinching people’s widows peaks as I say hello. An interesting side note: you may also tenderly pinch someone’s widows peak and they will get mildly excited to see you. Mainly, they’ll probably think you’re European.

The following video was recorded upon arrival to Krabi Beach in Thailand. This was an occasion that required excitement. You will see the previously described technique demonstrated on Rich including a close up of the hair twiddling. To really get the full effect out of the GET EXCITED Technique I suggest rereading the steps and practicing with the video before performing on your friends.

WARNING: The following video may cause an unbelievable amount of excitement. If you find yourself getting too excited just lock yourself in dark quiet room and breath slowly until you bring your excitement back down to an acceptable level.

– Evan

Published in: on June 26, 2008 at 2:00 pm  Comments (7)  
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Paul

I was born and raised close enough to Philadelphia to tell people that I’m from there, when actually it was slightly north in a comfy suburb, free from city perils such as murder, wage tax, and extensive parallel parking. I spent four years at Penn State, majoring in journalism and Englishism. It was at the University’s prestigious Daily Collegian student newspaper where I cut my teeth (ow) as a reporter, writing for nine semesters mostly about music — some I liked, some I didn’t, some I lied about to get free stuff. And that’s the reason I’m totally psyched to be the new sports reporter for the Trifecta!!!

If you fell for that, you probably listen to some mainstream bullshit like the Jonas Brothers and I hate you. OK, I’m kidding. But I think the most accurate label for myself as a critic is “self-aware music snob.” I’m always open to the possibility that others have opinions, but in most cases, I’d appreciate a thorough explanation of why. More importantly, I’ve been listening to and studying tons of music since a very young age, and I’m obsessed with it. I was recently offended by an overzealous Jeopardy! contestant who tried to impress Alex by describing his 200-disc CD “collection.” I could give away 200 CDs to my friends and family as stocking-stuffers and still have enough discs left over to start up a small radio station. I would then hope to tell that story someday on Jeopardy! myself.

I’m not perfect. One time I learned a Creed song on guitar to impress a girl, with semi-positive results. I own a Hall and Oates greatest hits CD. But in the immortal words of Tupac/Bruce Hornsby, “That’s just the way it is.” And as you will come to realize through my Trifecta posts, my opinion is usually the way it is.

– Paul

Published in: on June 24, 2008 at 11:20 pm  Comments (1)  
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Jewbin

Hello online world. I have been on the wired internet since 1993 with Prodigy, AOL, DSL, Cable, T1s, and on the wireless internet since 2002 with GPRS, 1xRTT, EVDO Rev 0, 802.11a,b,g, and yet this is my publishing debut. Sure, I have spouted off on message boards, sent in the occasional news article, and even submitted written works for competitions, but this is my first foray into the world of making others read my thoughts. So Trifecta readers, welcome in! I am a technology enthusiast to my core, and am a bleeding edge early adopter when I can afford to be. My current gadget set includes an IBM X61 Laptop with a Penryn Core 2 Duo, an iPod Touch 16GB with 50% movies and 50% music, a Samsung i830 GSM/CDMA Windows Mobile Phone, a Media Center 2005 Desktop PC, 32” Samsung LCD TV, XBOX 360, XM Radio, and Charter cable. I hope to bring you articles which will not only be entertaining, but also help to edumacate you on what it is to know what a geek knows. As to a career, I am strongly oriented towards business, have recently graduated from Washington University in St Louis, and will begin life as a strategic consultant in a few short months. Feel free to email me if you have any topics you’d like to see covered, and check back soon for my first post on how to make the most out of your iPod / iPhone.

– Jewbin

Published in: on May 20, 2008 at 4:25 pm  Comments (3)  
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Flight of the Conchords & Giving Up The Ghost Get The Trifecta Bump

Welcome to another Trifecta musical update. It’s time to break out the booty wax, its Wednesday night.

The new Conchords album hit the street this week and I’ve listened to it quite a few times since I downloaded it from itunes at 11:01 pm central time Monday night. Despite being a “new” album, there are no new songs to be heard here, instead there are nice studio versions of the songs we die hard Conchords fans have come to know and love. About half of the songs on the album won’t sound too different at all from their HBO show counterparts, but the other half sound significantly better with Inner City Pressure, Robots, Most Beautiful Girl in the Room and Bowie leading the pack. And let me tell you, Motha’uckas brings the funk like never before. This is without a doubt the definitive Flight of the Conchords audio collection to date, and I’ll enjoy it immensely, but I’m about ready for some new material from my favorite New Zealand two man novelty band. You can listen to the album in its entirety here. Apparently there’s a new season of the HBO show coming in January 2009, not too far away.

You may or may not have heard of my new favorite old soul singer / song writer but I’m here to let you know that his newest album, Giving up the Ghost, certainly deserves your attention. On October 2nd 2007 I attended a Phil Lesh & Friends show expecting to see Warren Haynes or Jimmy Herring on the right of Phil but was instead surprised to see a very young, but clearly talented musician sitting in with the older crew. About 30 minutes into the show I had made up my mind that this was Phil Lesh’s teenage son, and decided to voice my opinion but was quickly corrected by the hippy to my left who informed us that this was the one and only Jackie Greene. He has toured with the likes of B.B. King, Huey Lewis, Susan Tedeschi, Buddy Guy, and is now a permanent touring member of Phil Lesh and Friends, and get this, he’s only 27 years old. The concert left Jackie’s song Gone Wanderin’ embedded in my head on repeat so I bought his album The Dig Years, a collection of his best from 2001 to 2005. While the Dig Years is a little too country for me to give the ubiquitous Trifecta stamp to, his newest studio effort should be greatly enjoyed by all The Trifecta faithful. Jackie certainly has a sound all his own, singing with grit and grunge that I would expect from a man twice his age. Giving up the Ghost infuses jazz, blues, rock and country into an album that sounds familiar yet fresh at the same time. For all you out there who respond to the question “What kind of music do you listen to?” with the stock answer of “Everything but country,” Jackie Greene might make you think twice before you pull out that crap again. You can listen to some tracks on Jackie’s website here. Enjoy the tunes.

– Rich

The Best Movies You’ve Never Seen Part III: Get Carter (No, The Other One)

Trifecta readers – I know that I have been absent for quite some time, rendering this feature all but forgotten. My bad. If you cared. I was cranking out and polishing my first screenplay, Leopard, so at least there was a reason. Now all I have to do is sell the damn thing (Does anyone know an agent they wanna refer me to? Anyone? Please?). Now that it is done, I am proud to bring you volume three of the best movies you’ve never seen: Get Carter.

I’ve always said, and the majority of the world seems to agree with me, that remakes pretty much suck. They tend to take a few plot points from the original and redress them up in shittier settings, try to darken the tone, and toss in a few “Big Name” actors. However, when the original is darker than hell and stars one of the biggest names of the time, why the fuck would anyone ever try to remake it? I can’t claim to understand it, but nonetheless, in 2000 they remade one of the best revenge movies of all time, Get Carter.

The good version of Get Carter was released in 1971. Michael Caine stars as Jack Carter, a London gangster who must return home to Newcastle following the death of his brother. Obviously, it all goes to hell from there as Carter sets out on a bloody revenge kick to punish anyone and everyone responsible for his brother’s death.

Before Michael Caine started filling the niche market of stereotypical English servant, people thought his full name was Michael Fucking Caine because in every movie he seemed to be either boning or killing everyone in sight. Get Carter is no exception to this trend as he does plenty of both in the movie. At one point, two villains make the mistake of interrupting Carter mid-bone and he fends them off with a shotgun while still completely naked. They can’t decide which they’re more afraid of, the gun…or well, “the gun”. And that’s about as polite as Carter gets. He kills just about everyone in the entirety of Newcastle, regardless of reason. And he doesn’t let anyone hide behind that bullshit excuse of being a woman either, especially when he forces his brother’s ex-girlfriend to strip naked before giving her a fatal dose of heroin and framing a local mob boss for her murder.

Mike Hodges directed and wrote the screenplay based on Ted Lewis’s novel Jack’s Return Home, which also spawned a blaxploitation feature less than a year after Get Carter. He does a superb job, filming his first of what will be many London gangster movies. Caine is fan-fucking-tastic, of course, as the titular Carter. Hell, people in 1971 London were crying for the movie and Caine to be banned due to the “soulless and nastily erotic…virtuoso viciousness” of the film. It’s that bad-ass. Go see it now.

– Meller

Breaking Bad & Lost Come to an End & Bravo Pulls Some Bullshit on Top Chef

rich media
Hello Trifecta readers. We’ve just recently passed the 6,000 hit mark, which may not seem like a lot when compared to the one million hits a week that Stuff White People Like has been receiving recently, but I’m happy to take baby steps. I hope some have started to think of The Trifecta as a place they can come for interesting content from a plethora of amateur, yet talented writers on a variety of topics. I ask that if an article peaks your interest or tickles your fancy in just the right way that you share it with others who you think would also enjoy. I couldn’t be happier with the content generated by guest writers in the past couple months and you can expect a whole lot more coming up including the possible addition of the first female contributor. My newest Rick’s Rants for Movieweb covers Breaking Bad, Lost, and the newest season of Top Chef, so be sure to check it out: Rick’s Rants: Quips on Television’s Finest.

– Rich

Published in: on March 30, 2008 at 5:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Why Jäger Bombs are for Douche Bags & Red Bull Should be Banned

Densen post

For those Trifecta faithfuls out there, and I’m talking the day one cats (yeah, all seven of you not including Warsh, Danny, and Rich’s family), you will remember that I have some dislikes from my introduction. For the Trifecta stumble upons here is a quick recap in no particular order, they are: jean shorts, stupid people, and bees. Today I’d like to add Jäger bombs to that list, as well as each of its components. For those of you who have never spent a long night at a Señor Frogs / Hooters / Carlos / Charlies / (Insert generic cheesy bar chain) and have no idea what I’m talking about, a Jäger bomb is a combination of Jägermeister and energy drink. In the proper form, it is a shot of Jäger that is dropped into half a glass of Red Bull. I am certainly not the first to be drinking the haterade in regards to Jäger bombs, but I have an even better reason than the fact that people who consume them regularly are most likely douche-bags (the infamous My New Haircut video serves as evidence). My hatred for Jäger is rooted in cold hard facts.

Jäger is alcoholic liquorice-candy, and serves no purpose other than to intoxicate. Not a single redeemable drink can be made from Jäger (no, Liquid Crack is not a redeemable drink; now take off those damn jeans shorts!). If you want to get drunk, there are a million better options other than Jäger (a million and one if you count MadDog 20/20’s “Bling Bling Blue Raspberry” flavored fortified wine), so why not try one? Here are some suggestions that may surprise you in that they are tasty, complex, worldly AND can get you staggeringly drunk:

dogfish

Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA:

India Pale Ales were first brewed with lots’o hops to help the beer survive the long boat ride from England to India back in the day. This extra-hoppy version clocks in at a surprising 19% ABV, which means drinking a four pack (they don’t sell sixers of this stuff) is equal to about 16 regular beers in alcohol content. Hooray Beer!

cachaca

Cachaça:

This Brazilian made liquor is a close cousin of rum except it’s made from sugar cane instead of the molasses obtained from sugar cane. It has a mellower flavor and is the key ingredient in a cocktail called a caipirinha, which is like a better, stronger, mojito. To prepare, muddle half a lime and 2 tsp. sugar in an old-fashioned, fill with ice, and add a shot or two of cachaça. Pitú is the name of the only brand of cachaça I have ever seen in the US.

mezcal

Mezcal con Gusano:

This literally means ‘liquor with worm’ in Spanish. Mezcal is a type of liquor made from agave, and can include a worm (or scorpion) in the bottle to add flavor. Tequila is also made from agave, and is similar to Mezcal, but NEVER includes a worm (tequila production is heavily regulated and region-restricted, just as champagne and cognac are). Mezcal has a ‘wilder’ taste than your pal Jose Cuervo, so prepare to cowboy up.

Now that you all have some new options to explore, I’ll quickly wrap this up so you can go try one of them. But first, I must denigrate the other half of the Jäger bomb: Red Bull. I personally think Red Bull tastes like doo-doo butter, but that’s not even why I despise it so. My hate stems from the fact that, like Jäger, it serves no purpose. Sure it has caffeine, but why not drink coffee or pop a No-Doz? That way you’ll skip on the sugar and taurine found in Red Bull. Not only do we, the energy drink scientific community, not fully understand the effects of significant taurine consumption over time, but that shit, and I kid you not, is a derivative of bile (yeah, THAT bile) and hasn’t been proven to be energy providing. But go ahead and sling back seven more of those bad boys this weekend. Hell, make em Jäger bombs, you might as well. Oh yeah, did I mention that Red Bull is BANNED in several countries, including Denmark, France, and Iceland due to health concerns? Oh well, drinks up, and Salut!

– Densen

Evan

evan
Greetings Trifecta subscribers. This is my first post on The Trifecta, and to be very blunt, I’m doing it for the money. The cheddar. The dollar dollar billz yall. Rich asked me to be a special guest author on the Trifecta because he’s trying to get enough hits to make some bling. This is an ambitious and unreasonable goal, but I’ll humor him because we’ve been pals since freshman year of high school, we’ve lived in Tokyo for a summer, and because I’d love to get me somma dat green paper.

My addition to The Trifecta will alter the mission statement a bit, because I probably won’t be writing about electronics, media, or sports. I will be telling you outrageous stories from the life of an obscure individual. Check back soon for my first post about one crazy night Rich and I had in Tokyo.

– Evan

Published in: on February 14, 2008 at 3:42 pm  Comments (1)  
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My Weirdest Rick’s Rants Yet

rich media

After writing this edition of Rick’s Rants in one sitting it became pretty clear I had to post it to Movieweb.com despite it being a little out there, since it is a true rant. My ranting includes my insecurities with buying High School Musical 2, a dream Disney board meeting and my general angst with Disney’s financial planning surrounding the High School Musical project. Here’s a link: Rick’s Rants: Quips on Television’s Finest, hope you enjoy it.

musical1.jpg

– Rich

Published in: on December 19, 2007 at 1:53 pm  Comments (1)  
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Rich

Rich Intro

I would have to guess that everyone reading this site knows one of us very well and possibly knows all of us. For my first post I’d like to talk about the site and what I hope we can do with it. As you all know, I am a media pusher. I push media on my friends, my family and even random people on the street. Some of you have come to rely on me for media advice, while some are all too often disappointed with media I’ve hyped up. For me, this site will serve as a new media pushing forum. I’ll talk about all forms of media including television shows, movies, video games, music, books and electronics attempting to be funny and interesting along the way. While some of my attempts at hilarity will fail, I can assure you that those of Mr. Warshaw will not. After reading some of Warsh’s posts on his friend’s site I couldn’t stop laughing at his ridiculous rants. On this site I encourage the rants and hope they’ll bring people back to the site for more. Warsh will be providing a second opinion on media as well as cover sports. Rounding out the Trifecta we have Danny Ritterman covering electronics and sports. No words of praise need be said for Danny, but I will say that I expect he will balance out my general positivity with his negativity. Welcome to The Trifecta.

– Rich

Published in: on August 30, 2007 at 2:06 am  Comments (1)  
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